ew, braces!

Braces are officially the contraption of the devil. Or a malicious torture device. I swear every second or third person has them, and that if you have the slightest crook in your teeth then the ortho. is like “you need braces!” I swear, my friend, who has perfectly fine teeth is getting braces. And he’s also my crush so i don’t want to kiss him (not that i would ) whilst we both have braces.

Argh, and when you first get them on, its actual agony. I couldn’t eat properly for like three weeks, and that is no exaggeration. Let me tell you a little story of my duke of Edinburgh’s award practice expedition. So, we just had lunch and i was still munching on some food, now i could only eat using my far-back teeth. It was agony if it touched anywhere else. Being able to eat using only four teeth is really quite impractical. So~ we were going over the style, and i had a heavy pack on. Before i know it, my mouth is falling open because i’d put too much pressure on my teeth holding my mouth closed. So, all this saliva and a few bits of the bar had fallen out of my mouth. I was so embarrassed and earned the nickname ‘dribbler’ from the rest of my group. It was completely unfair, and i tried explaining about the braces – two of the others had braces anyway, but they didn’t know what it was like for me because i have particularly sensitive teeth to begin with. I could have died with embarrassment. You can imagine how cringey it was. DX

I haven’t got them tightened yet, but apparently its almost as painful as when you get them on. And bleh. I know i need them, but they get caught on everything – not to mention make kissing really quite impractical.

DX. They’re just so phail.

Trudi Canavan is a legend.

After sending me into manic depression after finishing the Black Magician Trilogy – it being over and all, i reluctantly picked up her books; the age of the five trilogy. Priestess of the white is a huge book and books that big normally take me 2+ weeks to read. I read this book in about three days of non-stop reading. I swear, i was significantly paler by the end of that book. I thought the beginning was a bit boring, but then i got into the swing of things. The main character of the book – Auraya – my namesake, or alias-sake, w/e, is awesome. She reminded me a bit of myself, yah know, with all the flying and stuff. Like hardcore floating off the ground kind of stuff. I love the idea of magic, and the way that she’s made magic in this world is awesome. I dont really understand though, the fact that if magic is all around you, that people differ in strength. I also like the idea of the gods not being able to affect the physical world, which is how it should be. I dont like the way its centered around religion, but the way Trudi (we’re on first name terms, duh) integrates it in with the personal life of the characters is pretty awesome. Tbh, some parts of this reminded me of a book i’d read (it was an imaginary cult) about a cult and some stuff, by Robert Muchamore.

The books also reminded me a lot of Greek myths and legends that i’d loved reading when i was younger. I’d spent days skimming through my big book of myths and legends. The way she’d incorporated magic and classical civilization was a very good and original idea. I also like mischief. He reminded me of a thing called a “petpet” that you can get on neopets – one called a meowclops (to the left).

Overall~ these books are awesome, i recommend them to all you fantasy fans out there!

Eragon; look who ballsed up the movie.

Yes, i loved the books to bits. Idk who this director is, if i wanted to be intelligent and wiki it then i would have, but its 02:30 ish in the morning and i cant sleep. Well, i actually laughed/cried the whole way through the film. It was depressing to see one of my favourite books of all time made into such a shitty film. I was desperately hoping for them to pull it together by the end, but by then i was actually throwing popcorn at the cinema screen. It was all i could do to actually stop myself from phsically getting up and booing. Even though i’d read the books about five zillion gatrillion billion times, i didn’t know what was coming next, seens as the director stuck to the plotline about as much as my teachers stick to the homework timetable.

I cant believe they told us the plotline with Arya, too. That was a major shock to me when i read Eldest. Why reveal it? Its frankly stupid – it didn’t even improve the movie. The fact too, that Arya was floaty and vulnerable almost made me wet myself. Because im the sad kind of fantasy nerd that finds things like that funny. But, in the books – i would like to point out – that i think CP has some kind of warped leather Fetish. What kind of teenager puts a woman in full-leather? I mean to be honest, its some guys fantasies, but for god sake, its not exactly practical or remotely fashionable. I mean, how many elves do you know that wonder about in leather, fgs.

Oh~ and dont get me started on Saphira. What was she about? I was like going to take my wrath out on someone sitting next to me – which happened to be a dreadlocked guy, that is a family friend and is pretty hench. I mean come on, her wings didnt even go with her body – and she’s meant to be blue for christ sake. What was that, some nasty shade of purple. If i ever meet the director, im going to physically hurt him.

Jeremy Irons – how could you steep so low? Your awesome. To be honest, he was the best part of the film. His portrayal of Brom was good. Except he was meant to be a frail old man and didn’t die that way. But yes, he did a good job of it, except for the fact he revealed he was a rider so early on – not that it was voluntary or anything.

EW, and now Eragon. I saved him until last because Ed Speelers is such a crappy actor. He was in Echo beach earlier on in the year, too. The fact that he’s a very hot guy, means that he probably got the part by default anyway because the rest of the auditionee’s were sad fantasy nerds. It makes you wonder how poor the quality of acting at the auditions was, doesn’t it? Some of the ways he said some of the more “epic” commands were, quite frankly, worthy of Power rangers – and power rangers only. I wonder how long his acting career will last? If i ever meet him, im going to hit on him first, and if he doesn’t adhere im just going to punch him one for making a mockery of an epic character, such as Eragon.

Poor CP, i wonder how many people its put off reading Eragon. I’ve read some stuff he’s said about it. I dont think he’s allowed to say how disappointed he is, but quite frankly, the film was shit. If i was him i would give the director a right bollocking.